You know what, whilst this is one of those “yeah but, think about what women face every day” things, there is still a fair degree of this.
I can think of literally one person who has ever called me handsome in a way that felt genuine, not even the girl I believe I loved, the best she could manage was “you aren’t so bad yourself”
Such is life.
Just gonna throw this out there, being checked out/whistled at/etc. by random strangers does NOT make me feel pretty it makes me feel objectified and afraid for my safety.
I know, I can’t understand how that must be, but there is still that visibility. All most guys have to inform how they feel about themselves is their own body image is their self doubt and the media telling us that we are fat/weak/pathetic.
I don’t wanna get all “men’s rights” because seriously, fuck that, but any girl I’ve dated has been told honest positive things about her appearance, and in return has sort of mumbled at me, or told me she isn’t pretty. I’ve not had spontaneous compliments, and to be honest, I don’t imagine it happening in the future.
Its just one of those things.
For what it’s worth, I honestly think you’re adorable!
And I also want to point out that even if a guy isn’t attractive he still is told by our culture that he can be successful at anything, but for women we are told that beauty is EVERYTHING.
Off the top of your head name 10 male celebrities that aren’t traditionally attractive (Danny Divito, Jason Alexander, Mailyn Manson, etc.) and then try to name 10 female ones.
Not trying to say your feeling is invalid, just you’re treading dangerous territory there be careful. :P
No, we’re not. I would very much lik eto see how two card-carrying feminist guys saying “You know what? Girls get told they are beautiful all the time. Maybe it’s our turn?” is “dangerous ground”. Sit down and name, without even looking, a single ad campaign for men (Besides Jacamo) that says “You know what, you actually have the capacity to look good”. We get the “GUYS ARE LAZY AND FAT LOLOL” beer ads, yeah, so we can think how i’s okay for us to not be attractive, but not a single piece of media is out there saying “You know what? It’s actually okay to not look like Chris Hemsworth, and you can be found attractive however you look”. Men’s fitness magazines for men aren’t “Stay healthy, look and feel great” they’re “Stay healthy, spend 2 hours in the gym a day doing one exercise to get abs like Gerard Butler, look great, feel great”.
Seriously, if you’re pointing at me saying i’m on dangerous ground for being a guy who’s not okay with constantly being bombarded with “Lol overweight guys are fat and funny/normal guys are all disgusting/OH LOOK AT THAT SKINNY BOY’S HIPS OH THEY’RE SO SEXY”, then you can go and fuck yourself.
I’m not saying women don’t have it harder, you do. Yeah, it’s not awesome having cunts wolf whistling you etc. But how many times have you ever dressed up and had someone say “You look lovely”? Now can we look at myself and Wil? Wil? Once? Twice? Probably by a relative?
I’m not saying negative attention is good, i’m saying there’s also a lot of positive attention given to female appearances that just isn’t there for us normal guys who don’t pose pretty for the webcam.
And next time you think calling someone over the age of 7 adorable is a compliment, you might want to take a look. You might be on dangerous ground.
